dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
