I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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