when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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