butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
did i walk over a car last night?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
