I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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