Your dad touched me again.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
