im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
