Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize
