I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I have fence marks all over my body
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
