He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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