Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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