I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
