Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
