We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
