Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
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