another moral hangover. fuck.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
