just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
