i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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