I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
