Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
