Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
