I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
