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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize