I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
