THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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