You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
