"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
