We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
