Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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