you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
