You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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