I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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