So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
