I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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