he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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