you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I need a beard to bite.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
