I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
