Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
