Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
