So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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