Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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