I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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