He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
