This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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