if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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