D3 body, D1 cock
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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