I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
