i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
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