My sheets look like a crime scene.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
