when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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