the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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