he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
