how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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